Duality

So I recently got WarioWare: Touched! and I just want to say that Wario will make you his bitch. Yeah yeah, it might sound simple enough, use the stylus, play a minigame, repeat. But after the 25th or 30th round, they get so incredibly fast, it’ll smoke your mind.

Touching is Good
So the big selling point of WW: Touched! is of course, the touching. Each character has minigames designed around a certain aspect of using the stylus, except for the karaoke robot. He just wants you to blow. For example, Wario likes you to tap, while Kat and Ana like you to slice. Other uses include scribbling, circling, and dragging. And then there are the weird ones, like 9-Volt and his old school Nintendo related minigames. One of my favorites is probably one of 9-Volt’s games in which there is a GBA on the screen with the original WarioWare’s nose picking game in which you have to then tap the A button on the screen to pick the nose.

Laugh till it Hurts
This game is funny. Hands down, plain and simple, no doubt about it, and whatever other clichéd phrase you can think of. There is such a twisted sense of the bizarre that you can’t play this game for more than a minute without seeing something so weird, so odd, so ‘what-the-fuck-were-they-smoking’ that you can’t help but break out laughing. Here is but an example of some of the game’s instructions: “Bubbles have only two purposes in life: confusing animals and irritating adults. Choose one and run with it!” or “Hey, Nerdy McGeekerson! You might be a little less of a dweeb if you joined a band! But you gotta learn how to play an instrument, first!”

Toys for Tots
Probably my favorite part of the game is the toy room. After completing different people’s minigames you start acquiring toys. These are essentially minigames that have no point. Also, they are some of the most random things I’ve ever seen in a game. Almost every one makes you say “why the hell did they put that in this game??” Because they could, my friend, because the could. Some of the toys you acquire include: a metronome, a calculator (that only adds or subtracts), a wind chime that blows when you blow in the microphone, a kitchen timer, a parrot (that randomly repeats things you say), and even a big piece of Jello which has absolutely no purpose other than to jiggle when you touch it. So far I’ve acquired about 30 of these things and each one is crazier than the last.

Bottom Line
WarioWare: Touched! may not have packed the same punch as the original WarioWare: Mini MicroGames did a couple years ago, but with 180 new minigames and a completely new way to play each one of them, this is one game that you’ll be keeping in your DS for months to come.