Duality

So someone (I still don’t know who) has apparently sent me a package. A package so important that no one outside of my apartment can sign for it (ie, they cant get the office to hold it)

Not expecting to receive a package, I came home last Wednesday to find a “Sorry we missed you” tag on my door. “We’ll try again tomorrow.” However, I couldn’t miss my classes that day so once again I came home to find another “Sorry we missed you” tag. “We’ll try again one more time tomorrow.” So Friday comes and I don’t have any classes. So I wait the whole day and wouldn’t you know, they didn’t show up! No “Sorry we missed you”, no nothing! The whole weekend goes by and I’m expecting them to attempt again on Monday.

So I skip my morning class to wait for this package. By the time 12:45 rolls around and I’ve got to leave for my afternoon class, there’s been no sign of FedEx. I open my door to leave and wtf? “Sorry we missed you”??? No one missed me, I’ve been here the whole time! Motherf’ing delivery people who don’t knock. So I call FedEx, and tell them what’s happened and they say they’ll have the delivery man return later that night. But by 6 o’clock no one has shown up. So once again I call FedEx and they say “Oh, he couldn’t make it out again. He’ll be there by 10:30 tomorrow morning, though.” Great, so I have to miss another class.

So I skip Tuesday morning and wait. 10:30 flies by, no deliveryman. 11 comes and I’m pissed. I call them again and here them say “Oh he’s running late, he’ll be there by noon.” Of course noon comes and goes and by 12:45, I have to leave again for classes. I call FedEx and demand that they have him deliver after 3:30, that way my roommate will be home and can sign for it. I come home to, you guessed it, “Sorry we missed you.” MOTHERF**KERS! I’m outraged now and call FedEx again. “Oh the deliveryman came at 2:07. We’re sorry. We’ll have him come out again tomorrow, but I don’t know when.” So now I have to miss even more class!

So now it’s ‘tomorrow’ and there’s been no delivery yet. Out of pure curiosity, I call FedEx again to see if they can tell me the status. “I’m sorry, but there’s no record of you ever calling last night and requesting the package to be delivered again today. It’s still in our warehouse. You’re more than welcome to come pick it up yourself.” … It took every ounce of my strength not to rip this woman to shreds. I hate FedEx with a passion. And throughout all this, I still don’t know who the heck this is from or what the hell it is. I would have figured whoever sent it would have called me by now asking if I’d received it yet, but no.

Nothing.